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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

My Best Friend Of Fifteen Years

Dear Admin, My name is Chidiebere (not real name). I have been married for the past seventeen years. I am blessed with four children,three sons and a daughter. I met Nkechi (not real name) two years after I got married and we became best of friends. She was also recently married then. We told each other everything,even when we had issues with our husbands,we discussed it and tried to profer solutions to our problems. We baby sat each others kids when one of us wasn't around. A few years later I began to suspect that my husband was cheating on me,not only because he kept late nights.he began to recieve and make clandestine phone calls at odd hours,he also began to delete his messages and refresh his call register. He snapped at me at any slightest provocation. On some occassions,he slapped me. I had no one to turn to at this time except my best friend Nkechi,i told her all I noticed about my husband and his changed attitude towards me and how I didn't know how to deal with it without losing my marriage or his love. Nkechi would always suggest taking me to a native doctor,who would prepare a love portion for me to make him love me more. I was never comfortable with that suggestion,but I confided in her anyway. Years went by,my husband still didn't change,i kept on managing the marriage,some nights he won't come home. Nkechi's husband fell ill and died of a proctacted illness,i was there for her in every stage of her grief,because she was my best friend. Her kids were little,she had only a provision store to support herself. I tried as much as I could to support her financially. One day a neighbor invited me to a Prophetic church,i honoured the invitation. I knew no one in that church neither did anyone know my marital issues. As the service went on,the man of God called me out, and began to talk about my marital problems,i was suprised because only Nkechi knew my problems,but she wasn't a member of that church, i hadn't recovered from that shock when he mentioned my best friend's name,Nkechi. He said Nkechi wasn't who I thought she was and that she had always been envious of my marriage,so she was the cause of my marital frustrations. What is this man saying? I thought within me. He further said,Nkechi was in a relationship with my husband and he would need prayers to end the relationship because Nkechi had charmed him. This is ridiculous I thought. Nkechi was like the sister I never had,she wouldnt do such a thing,besides,she was aware of all my marital problems. I refused to believe what I heard,but it kept nagging at the back of my mind. I thought about it for days and decided to watch her and my husband. My husband had typhoid fever and got admitted in the hospital. I stayed with him over the night till the next day. When I went home to get a little rest,i sent our ten years old daughter Uloma to stay with him. When I came back in the afternoon to check on him,Uloma told me that she overheard daddy talking to Nkechi on the phone and telling her what kind of food she should prepare for him as dinner. Suddenly I remembered what the Man of God told me. My husband started insisting that I need not spend the night with him in the hospital,that I and Uloma should get some rest that he would be okay and the Nurses would take care of him. After much persuasion by my husband to go home, I agreed and left with Uloma,he didn't know I had my own plans. In the evening I sneaked into the hospital disguised and stayed where I would see anyone going into my husband's ward. An hour later I saw Nkechi carrying a food flask into my husband's ward.I couldn't believe my eyes. I was suddenly filled with rage,my best friend for fifteen years whom I trusted very much! I told her all my marital problems,i treated her like a sister,and this is the way she wants to pay me back? The man of God was very right. I allowed her to get into my husband's ward before I also went in,i found her bent over him giving him tiny kisses and touching his face. What is going on here I screamed? So it is true,Nkechi? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? Before she could respond I pounced on her,i beat her mercilessly,i could see shame and embarrassment written all over my husband's face,he turned and faced the wall,the nurses heard our voices and ran in. They couldn't separate us,they had to bring in the security officials to separate us and they escorted us out of the building. My husband was discharged a few days later,he has been acting funny since the hospital incidence,i suspect that he hasn't stopped seeing her. I am still filled with rage at Nkechi and my husband. So I ask you readers to please advice me and don't judge me. I still love my husband and still want to keep this marriage,i know fighting isn't the solution,i don't know what to do.

7 comments:

  1. I'm surprised there are no comments on this blog post. What's the update with this lady?

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  2. I'm not a fan of divorce except in abusive relationships. Chidiebere, I think you can still win your husband back, charm or no charm. It won't be an easy task and it will take loads of patience but the fight's easier when the enemy is not wearing a mask. God's grace, dear one.

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  3. Tough one.... I would for one stop all relationship with Nkechi for sure and face my husband squarely.... We would have a discussion where I will need to know if he is ready to work on the marriage... If he is not then i would start planning my exit emotionally and financially because i cant save what does not need to be saved..... May the lord make it easier for her and may God deliver her from friends like Nkechi.....

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  4. Nkechi seems diabolic and there is possibly no doubt about that. Dear Chidiebere, it wont be out of place to say that ur husband is under the influence of a spiritual manipulation from Nkechi and this would not end by a physical fight or a charm or even a dialogue/confrontation with your husband. It's much deeper than you think. But let me break it down, (1) Would dialogue with a mad man cure his madness (2) If you are made at a mad man, who then is the sane person? (3) If you charm a man, does that cure his madness? So what is the way out? Well! I don't know your level spiritually and your relationship with God. But believe me, that's the only way out. You just have to accept it. While you try your best to avoid all confrontations with ur husband, never cease to pray to God about the deliverance of ur husband and ur family and never fail to show him your love. Two wrings can't make a right, I will also do my little part in supporting you in prayers. But don't fail to do urs. God bless.

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  5. First thing she should do is to FIGHT Nkechi (in the spiritual), and not talking about native doctors or cele prophets. She should get on her knees in the hours between midnight and 4am and wage spiritual war against Nkechi and the forces of darkness that have held her home captive. She should sing worship and praise songs, declare copiously from the bible; psalms, proverbs, Isaiah, etc. Just commit this whole matter to the Lord in furious, fervent and regular prayer. I recommend using Prayer rain by Dr. D.K Olukoya - there are very valid and powerful prayer points there.

    Secondly, she should look inwards at herself and see if there's anything she needs to change in her character, behaviour and all that and adjust herself accordingly. I won't say she could cut off Nkechi from her life - that goes without saying and should be the first thing she should have done.

    She will prevail with God on her side!

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  6. What is built spiritually must be uprooted spiritually. If what the gentleman in church said by prophetic revelation is true then Chidi will need to wage serious war in the Spirit. like the previous commentator said,simply sever all ties with Nkechi and then proceed to cultivate a lifestyle of prayer. If you sincerely love your husband and you want it to work,you should be prepared to wage spiritual warefare... and let no one decieve you...it could take time for things to be uprooted but as surely as God is your hlper,it will and can be done.

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  7. chi you are funny oh, hiw can you be looking for solution where you already have one. Was it you that unravel this mystery!NO! So go and join the pastor that revealed it in prayers and fasting and your problem shall b over.
    Good luck!

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